Mental Health Dojo

Hello again everybody. Before I get to the gist of this post I once again want to thank everyone for sharing your views on our hobbies, as well as sticking together in these "apocalyptic" times. With enough hope, all this hectic material will vanish one way or the other.
But yeah, the past few weeks have been hectic for me. I had tons of intrusive thoughts, some of which caused depression and acting out moments. A few days ago, on Saturday I found out that I have been put in the FIRST handicapped category all along, without any prior knowledge. This means that finding employment for me is either out of the question and not recommended, or if I really want to work something, I will be put among the people with the heaviest handicaps/disabilities, be it mental (Autism, traumatic brain injuries, severe autism spectrum disorder, etc.) or physical. Yesterday I spoke with my employment agent and she told me, that it would be wise for me to transfer to another facility, but upon reaching out to every one of them, I found out that they were all without vacancies. I contemplated a lawsuit against the rehabilitations facility where I was assessed, but they told me that it would be unwise and very expensive to do so. As a result I can now safely say that my country's health system and bureaucracy have screwed me over and now I am nothing more than their victim. I even told them repeatedly that one day I will return to be re-assessed, but nobody listened to me. They insist that I shouldn't do any "everyday" activities, nor should I study or have any hobbies. In other words: they fucked me up through their paperwork and didn't even pay attention to the fact that I was heavily sedated when I was in my evaluation process (four different meds!). There is however a glimpse of hope in this story: towards the end of this year I will be transferred to an apartment complex in my country's capital, where I'll finally be able to live more freely and attend to my hobbies. It won't be a penthouse or anything, but at least I'll be independent from my parents. Once again, be careful you don't fall in any of these traps, cause it'll be an eternity before you can recover from them.
 
It's threads like this where I wish a "care" emoji was added. "liking" seems impersonal and "love" sounds too positive (although it's nice to get love!)

But yeah, glad to hear you will be transferred; I hope it will work out for you!!!
 
Ridiculous, Shansun; I can't believe that something like that can happen.

Here in Canada, assessed or not, the only job you can't get is a job that requires certain training or related competency: that's it. No doctor can write something that forces you to be unable to work: that, IMO, is a MAJOR human-rights violation.

I also agree though, that it is not worth your while to file a lawsuit; to get someone who can actually win a case like this, you would need a ton of cash, as these types of lawsuits have to be handled methodically (as there is not hard, physical evidence; just a doctor's, "recommendation)."

I hope that living on your own indeed provides a bit of solace, always look for the bright side of things! :D
 
Shansun95 said:
Hello again everybody. Before I get to the gist of this post I once again want to thank everyone for sharing your views on our hobbies, as well as sticking together in these "apocalyptic" times. With enough hope, all this hectic material will vanish one way or the other.
But yeah, the past few weeks have been hectic for me. I had tons of intrusive thoughts, some of which caused depression and acting out moments. A few days ago, on Saturday I found out that I have been put in the FIRST handicapped category all along, without any prior knowledge. This means that finding employment for me is either out of the question and not recommended, or if I really want to work something, I will be put among the people with the heaviest handicaps/disabilities, be it mental (Autism, traumatic brain injuries, severe autism spectrum disorder, etc.) or physical. Yesterday I spoke with my employment agent and she told me, that it would be wise for me to transfer to another facility, but upon reaching out to every one of them, I found out that they were all without vacancies. I contemplated a lawsuit against the rehabilitations facility where I was assessed, but they told me that it would be unwise and very expensive to do so. As a result I can now safely say that my country's health system and bureaucracy have screwed me over and now I am nothing more than their victim. I even told them repeatedly that one day I will return to be re-assessed, but nobody listened to me. They insist that I shouldn't do any "everyday" activities, nor should I study or have any hobbies. In other words: they fucked me up through their paperwork and didn't even pay attention to the fact that I was heavily sedated when I was in my evaluation process (four different meds!). There is however a glimpse of hope in this story: towards the end of this year I will be transferred to an apartment complex in my country's capital, where I'll finally be able to live more freely and attend to my hobbies. It won't be a penthouse or anything, but at least I'll be independent from my parents. Once again, be careful you don't fall in any of these traps, cause it'll be an eternity before you can recover from them.
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I don't really understand everything because my English sucks, but I get it. It sucks, take advantage of it to program since it's one of your passions personally I'm in the same situation even if it's very different, I had to stop school very early because of big health problems I stayed 3 years in the hospital and when I came out I was out of school without any diploma and I also have physical health problems that prevent me from working and I never found a new school, that's why I started to program games to make a job I hope and by passion too
 
A big thank you to @bcdcdude @Kenzo38130 and of course @Truck_1_0_1_ ! You guys deserve a place in heaven, thank you all for sticking with and supporting me!
Just to let you guys know, the Slovene healthcare system is complete and utter bullshit. It's notorious for having sleazy individuals on leading positions, who wormed their ways to the top through various "contracts" made by third-party people with practically no prior knowledge in the medical field. There have been countless instances of nepotism and "line skipping" because most of the people who wish to become renowned doctors leave the country due to hectic entry exams and unscrupulous practical extra exams. Those who stay are here just for the cash. The worst field of them is the mental field, where people have even fallen victims to a bunch of young inexperienced doctors. That includes me unfortunately. I have a colleague who has been to the same institute as me, and she still hasn't been given the final verdict. She has two young sons in kindergarten and she barely makes it through the month.
During the pandemic, people with serious diseases have been given the cold shoulder and have more or less been sentenced to death as they haven't been given proper attention and care.
Employment opportunities compared to Canada, France and the UK are practically non-existant for people like me. I would like to move to either of them, as @Truck_1_0_1_ said you only need certain training for a job in Canada. I do not know about France, but according to some sources, certain jobs require you to speak French fluently. As for the UK, the whole Brexit thing really screwed everything, but there is a glimpse of hope. Another curve is the citizenship, but even this can be solved if you go through that process.
Anyway, I am currently in Croatia where I'll be celebrating my dad's 60th birthday this Saturday. Thank you to you guys for the warm wishes, and I'll keep you informed on what's going on. Toodaloo! :giggle:
 
Shansun95 said:
A big thank you to @bcdcdude @Kenzo38130 and of course @Truck_1_0_1_ ! You guys deserve a place in heaven, thank you all for sticking with and supporting me!
Just to let you guys know, the Slovene healthcare system is complete and utter bullshit. It's notorious for having sleazy individuals on leading positions, who wormed their ways to the top through various "contracts" made by third-party people with practically no prior knowledge in the medical field. There have been countless instances of nepotism and "line skipping" because most of the people who wish to become renowned doctors leave the country due to hectic entry exams and unscrupulous practical extra exams. Those who stay are here just for the cash. The worst field of them is the mental field, where people have even fallen victims to a bunch of young inexperienced doctors. That includes me unfortunately. I have a colleague who has been to the same institute as me, and she still hasn't been given the final verdict. She has two young sons in kindergarten and she barely makes it through the month.
During the pandemic, people with serious diseases have been given the cold shoulder and have more or less been sentenced to death as they haven't been given proper attention and care.
Employment opportunities compared to Canada, France and the UK are practically non-existant for people like me. I would like to move to either of them, as @Truck_1_0_1_ said you only need certain training for a job in Canada. I do not know about France, but according to some sources, certain jobs require you to speak French fluently. As for the UK, the whole Brexit thing really screwed everything, but there is a glimpse of hope. Another curve is the citizenship, but even this can be solved if you go through that process.
Anyway, I am currently in Croatia where I'll be celebrating my dad's 60th birthday this Saturday. Thank you to you guys for the warm wishes, and I'll keep you informed on what's going on. Toodaloo! :giggle:
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in France it's pretty easy to find a job contrary to what everybody says. the unemployment rate is very high in the country, but yes if you want to come and work in France you will have to speak French and if you speak English it's a massive plus, because a lot of companies are looking for employees able to speak English and most of the young French people are completely uninterested in foreign languages. and France is also the opposite of Slovenia where some people with mental or physical disabilities have a hard time being recognized as disabled probably because the French state pays the disabled to compensate for the fact that they can't work. i hope you'll get better and find a solution to your problem.
 
Thank you Kenzo for explaining everything and of course for sticking with me, I really appreciate it!
This time around, I'll share some good as well as of course bad news. The bad news is the fact that I'm once again on a week-long sick leave due to my parents arguing the entire week. On June 18th we celebrated my dad's 60th birthday with my aunt and uncle. Everything was going by just fine, until the following day: my mom and my aunt, who is her older sister have gotten into a fight for no good reason. My mother told her to pack her bags and leave just because something wasn't right on her end. Then she started picking on my dad, who became increasingly furious with her. In the week that followed, my dad spent most of his time drinking at a bar due to his depression because of what happened. He drank so much that he was in "partial" comatose for two days. To make matters worse, he found out that he's now suffering from high blood pressure and has to take meds for this.
But, there are some good news nonetheless: on Friday, I went to my church gathering, where one of our members gave me an opportunity to live independently with him. He told me that he'll arrange everything with my social worker and hopefully I'll finally be independent from my parents. Of course, money might be a slight concern, but even this can be solved under the right circumstances.
Right now I'm finally taking some time to enjoy some of my hobbies. Yesterday I went swimming at a public pool after a whooping long ten years. The feeling was amazing, as I spent almost three hours swimming in a professional pool. As an added bonus, one of the lifeguards was an ex co-schoolmate of mine and we discussed some matters about our everyday lives. He works at the swimming pool not only as a lifeguard, but also as a coach.
So it seems that things are getting a little better over at my end despite some problems. After all, ups and downs are part of our lives, right? Also, I want to thank everyone for sending me wishes, and I'll see you guys around!
 
Hey Guys, I hope you all stayed hydrated these days and I hope you all are good.

Here is a little poem I cherish in dark times. Its from Rumi. A ancient Sufi Mystic and Poet.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

- Jalaluddin Rumi (1207 - 1273)

I hope it resonates with you like it does with me.

All the love,
Sailor-San
 
Man…I don’t have much to say, specially since I have not slept at all and have to get ready for work in 20 minutes.

Long and short of it is this job just fucking sucks now. Didn’t necessarily start off great but had eventually been at least able to work with people I liked. They’ve all left now and I’ve been moved to a completely different department that just seems to be where they put people they don’t like. I’m the only one from my old department that got put here while everyone else gets really cushy stuff.

No communication, HR just flat out drags their feet on everything and are incompetent. Worse physical labor than most of my retail jobs, nevermind safety and health issues and plenty of osha violations. Worst part is it’s either super busy with little breaks, or so slow that I’d rather spend my time at home unpaid. To most I’m sure 4 10 hour shifts might be good, but with talk of mandatory overtime coming soon with equipment that costs tons of money and kinda vague policies on what happens to the peons if something were to break, I just can’t see myself sticking around much longer.

Really wish I could find some work from home or something, I’m so done walking into the same exact stuff all the time. But my art is just not working out for me…doesn’t help that I can’t stay consistent with practice due to these week long stretches without it.
 
Hey, guys! Been a while!

I've been away for a while. Mostly on purpose, I've been taking care of myself. I took a bit of a break from online in general to really focus on myself. I kind of needed it. Been going to therapy...still...and made some great progress. I'm genuinely in a very happy state of mind as of late.

I've been working out! Yeah, I started going to a gym under the tutelage of a private trainer...been working out for the last two weeks or so! I actually kind of took the mantra of GON ("Train everyday without neglect") to heart and I've been pushing myself every day to walk, train at gym and walk some more. Been trying to eat better. Upping my protein. Yeah, been taking good care of myself as a whole :giggle:

I've missed this place! But yeah, needed some time to get a new routine down and needed some time away in general to get my shit together and happy to report I've done just that. :D

I'm genuinely in the best state of mind I've been in for a long time! I can actually look in the mirror and not feel like spitting at the reflection staring back at me (meaning I've dealt with a lot of my self hate issues and have found something close to inner peace.)

So ahhh, yeah! The break away really did me good and I needed to cleanse of all the bullshit.

Anyways, now I truly take the mantra of GON to heart and have been doing that for the last month :D
 
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I have been away for a good few weeks myself. My jobs and family have been keeping me busy. As crazy as it sounds, the only time I have for myself is on my train rides between work and home, and whenever I have breakfast and lunch at a diner just down the street from where my main job is. Other than that, whenever I'm home, I wake up early to do translation assignments as a side gig, etc. I do have time for my family and do enjoy it. I'm providing for my family, but wish I could just invest more, you know?
 
Hello again everybody!
I'd like to share what was going on with my life after several weeks of radio silence. Fortunately, none of the news is tragic, so you guys won't have to worry about anything.
As I was saying, my life is finally taking a more fortunate turn: starting shortly, I will begin working my new job at a fitness studio, with my coach serving as my boss. Both me and my coach are on very good terms, he's like a fatherly figure to me and is always ready to help no matter what the problem is. My previous boss was very happy when I told her that I'm getting a brand new job that won't be as stressful and underpaid like the one I was *forced* to do for nearly two and a half years. The job will allow me to get into shape (finally!) and I will be paid at least the minimum wage plus some possible additions.
There is however a *small* problem I need to mention: my mother discovered a boil on my left buttock where it connects with the leg. Last Friday, I went to a medical laboratory, where I gave a blood and a urine sample and this Monday I found out that my body is basically feeling like it's on the top of the World: the testing results were perfect and I am therefore a very healthy individual despite my weight of over 250 pounds. Nevertheless, I have an appointment tomorrow at 10:15, where my doctor will take a second closer look at the boil.
Also, my parents have stopped arguing and are finally living a more peaceful life. My dad will purchase a brand new car, a really spacey one with seven or eight seats, so that we'll have more space for both us and some of our relatives when we'll travel down to the sea.
Yep, finally things have started to play out for me. I just cannot wait to see what the future holds for me and my family. Here's hoping for a better future for all of us.
 
Shansun95 said:
Hello again everybody!
I'd like to share what was going on with my life after several weeks of radio silence. Fortunately, none of the news is tragic, so you guys won't have to worry about anything.
As I was saying, my life is finally taking a more fortunate turn: starting shortly, I will begin working my new job at a fitness studio, with my coach serving as my boss. Both me and my coach are on very good terms, he's like a fatherly figure to me and is always ready to help no matter what the problem is. My previous boss was very happy when I told her that I'm getting a brand new job that won't be as stressful and underpaid like the one I was *forced* to do for nearly two and a half years. The job will allow me to get into shape (finally!) and I will be paid at least the minimum wage plus some possible additions.
There is however a *small* problem I need to mention: my mother discovered a boil on my left buttock where it connects with the leg. Last Friday, I went to a medical laboratory, where I gave a blood and a urine sample and this Monday I found out that my body is basically feeling like it's on the top of the World: the testing results were perfect and I am therefore a very healthy individual despite my weight of over 250 pounds. Nevertheless, I have an appointment tomorrow at 10:15, where my doctor will take a second closer look at the boil.
Also, my parents have stopped arguing and are finally living a more peaceful life. My dad will purchase a brand new car, a really spacey one with seven or eight seats, so that we'll have more space for both us and some of our relatives when we'll travel down to the sea.
Yep, finally things have started to play out for me. I just cannot wait to see what the future holds for me and my family. Here's hoping for a better future for all of us.
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Happy for you man! :giggle:
 
Thank you @Sailor-San and others for the wishes! Small update: the doctor sent me to the emergency ward because of the boil, where they told me that it's nothing to worry about, yet they gave me an appointment at the general surgeon for an ultrasound. I am pretty sure that it's nothing but an inflamed or strained muscle so they'll probably give me some meds for this. Once again, thank you all for the wishes and I'll write again in the near future.
 
Shansun95 said:
Hello again everybody!
I'd like to share what was going on with my life after several weeks of radio silence. Fortunately, none of the news is tragic, so you guys won't have to worry about anything.
As I was saying, my life is finally taking a more fortunate turn: starting shortly, I will begin working my new job at a fitness studio, with my coach serving as my boss. Both me and my coach are on very good terms, he's like a fatherly figure to me and is always ready to help no matter what the problem is. My previous boss was very happy when I told her that I'm getting a brand new job that won't be as stressful and underpaid like the one I was *forced* to do for nearly two and a half years. The job will allow me to get into shape (finally!) and I will be paid at least the minimum wage plus some possible additions.
There is however a *small* problem I need to mention: my mother discovered a boil on my left buttock where it connects with the leg. Last Friday, I went to a medical laboratory, where I gave a blood and a urine sample and this Monday I found out that my body is basically feeling like it's on the top of the World: the testing results were perfect and I am therefore a very healthy individual despite my weight of over 250 pounds. Nevertheless, I have an appointment tomorrow at 10:15, where my doctor will take a second closer look at the boil.
Also, my parents have stopped arguing and are finally living a more peaceful life. My dad will purchase a brand new car, a really spacey one with seven or eight seats, so that we'll have more space for both us and some of our relatives when we'll travel down to the sea.
Yep, finally things have started to play out for me. I just cannot wait to see what the future holds for me and my family. Here's hoping for a better future for all of us.
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Im glad for you bro
 
Good to hear that the boil is nothing to worry about.

Those random things (boils, warts, cysts, etc.) can always turn into something worse (like a canker/blister turned into cancer for me), so that's good news :)
 
Thank you very much Kenzo and Truck for the wishes! I'll keep everyone informed about the situation. Tuesday is the day I must visit the general surgeon and I'm actually looking forward to it to be honest, however taking everything with a grain of salt, it is the surgeon's opinion that matters. There is a very slight possibility of an operative procedure, but it's mostly because of my weight. Fortunately, with my job at a fitness studio becoming a thing, I'll most definitely have the opportunity to start living a healthier life and won't have to worry about such things in the future. Wish me luck my friends!
 
Hello all.

Today is a very important day for me. After 12 years of saving up and living at my parents, in 3 hours time I pick up the keys to my very first home. It's only 40% shared ownership (so 60% rent), but to finally be on the property ladder is a big step for me. I'm so grateful I managed to get a 5 year fixed mortgage 5 months ago, because if I got one now (fuck you Tories) then the house would simply be unaffordable. I am only moving 5 miles down the road from my parents (15 minutes drive) and I have lots of friends in surrounding villages. I'm really scared, but really excited too. I'm so naive I don't know how to do basic things like work a boiler or cooking anything that is slightly complicated, but i'm willing to learn.

The next step will then be for my girlfriend to move in with me from Japan. It's been 3 1/2 years since we've last seen each other in person and now that Japan have finally opened their borders, I should be free to go whenever I want. I have put money aside for it over 3 years ago and haven't touched a single penny. We've had some difficulties, but that's down to our awkward shyness and difficulty expressing our emotions. We got round this by sending e-mails with our worries and it allowed us time to think about our answers. When she told me that my answers to her questions were sincere, we've overcome another barrier. Now it's going to be awkward for a little while as we have to get used to each other again. We've been together almost 5 years, but only been together in person for about 8 months, but we communicate lots and know where our boundaries are. I'm looking forward to this next chapter in our lives <3

The biggest thing about moving out is no longer living with my brother. I love him dearly, but we shouldn't be living together in our mid-30's. He's since become a father with a women I despise and have cut out of my life, but the baby is a dear little thing and they are doing a good job even though they are no longer together. He has a new girlfriend, but i've been very awkward round them, because when she would stay over, it made me very anxious (the walls are thin...luckily they have been mindful about that) to the point I would actively stay out late even if I was exhausted so I wasn't around them. He also suffers major mental health issues that I don't understand. But all in all, we care about each other, but i'm not going to lie; i'm glad to move out so we can have seperate lives. I look forward to catching up to him at the weekend or at Xmas, but I have no interest in his personal/love life.

I'm also on edge a lot because my other dog is struggling a bit. In my last message here I said my darling Lucy-dog died. Butters-dog is over 14 now and he needs help getting up. He can't do much nowadays, but he still has energy to spare (and when he dreams, he's running which is lovely because he can't do it standing up). Sam-cat is over 15 years old now and he's getting thin and slow, so there's always this horrible feeling they will go some day. This year has been an awful one for lots of us (living in the UK is painful at the moment) and I can't see it getting better any time soon.

The other big news is that after 15 years i've been seconded into a new job within my company. It's amazing i'm still on my first full time job! It's only for a year and i'm two months in, but i'm enjoying it so far. The people are lovely and understanding of my aspergers, although the 50 mile round trip commute is painful. My new boss is very understanding though, so he is going to let me work from home 3 days a week and do the office twice a week. He's also letting me start at 10am so I can avoid the rush hour traffic. After the year is up I can remain with them or return to my old team. I struggled with my old job, but I love the people, so it's an interesting problem to have!

So yeah, it's pretty positive at the moment although until I am reunited with my girlfriend, i'll still be sad. I'm so grateful for my family (what little I have left as I hate 90% of them) and my friends for keeping me grounded. And i'm grateful for you guys.

Right...better do some packing...at this point in time I regret buying so much vinyl haha!!
 
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